Relationship goals.Let’s talk about it, because it’s almost Valentine’s Day and that time when we talk about love. I see this a lot, this term relationship goals.. Usually referring to some celebrity couple. One in which we see one instance, but know nothing of the actual dynamic. We see the pretty polished package to the world. Such is social media too. A slippery slope into comparison. Relationship goals are good, but how we idolize others and theirs, maybe isn’t as good. Relationship goals should be unique to us. When we embrace our own unique selves, then we don’t have to compare to others. Plus we can be content within our lives and our relationships, instead of wondering why our significant other isn’t like _______ (insert a celebrity or someone you look up to). We meet and love them as they are. We truly open ourselves up to loving that person with an everlasting love.
This picture above, these are my relationship goals, happening now, in real life. My examples of love and marriage are beautiful. My parents are going on 38 years, my grandparents all close to 60 and lots of aunts in uncles in 25+ years of marriage. These relationships are not perfect. They have ups and downs, but they are shining examples of commitment. No matter their fights or the struggles they face, they are extremely loyal and have the others back. Family. Love. This was embedded in my upbringing and it is essential to me. I didn’t want to merely be married, a partner, for the rest of my life. Beyond the wedding, I wanted the raw commitment that comes with it.
For over a decade I patiently waited and prayed for this relationship. For this man. I knew the goals in my head and heart. I wanted someone fully committed to me. Who took and loved me, just as I am. A companion. Someone I enjoyed spending time with, so that spending the rest of our lives together (and eternity), would be a breeze. Someone I could travel the world with. And climb mountains. Someone by my side. I would see couples on trails, a little baby strapped to the front and I wanted that. That outdoor family life. To live in the woods and spend time on the road, exploring this magnificent world. Continue reading “Relationship Goals”
I am in the process of refining and redesigning my brand and the direction I want to head in the future. This little sketch above is kind of where my thoughts are going, as well as selling and growing. When I trained kettlebells, one of our principles to training was: DO FEWER THINGS BETTER. Sounds easy right? It is easy in life to get overwhelmed and overloaded with dreams and goals and ideas. We can be a little scattered sometimes and all over the place (myself included). Bombarded with options and obligations. That is why I think it is essential to go back to this principle. To narrow it down, dig deep, and get real. What do I really want to do in life? With my life? What brings me the MOST joy? Focus on that. Close the gap between wanting and living it. I have this beautiful Thoreau tattoo on my arm: Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. Make your life so freaking awesome that it is better than your dreams. So that when living moment to moment, you feel this. You feel alive and invigorated.
I have also found out that pulling away and looking at your life so far, it is amazing how set up I have been for where I am now. Connecting all the dots. The journey wasn’t necessarily graceful or even embraced and it hasn’t been without challenges. But it all lines up.Before I was born my dear mother was craving and digging into Italian food while pregnant with me (possibly why I make so many pizzas?). I distinctly remember a week when I was around 10, when I made a pie EVERY day, just for the mere pleasure of making them. When our kettlebell business was fading, I turned to a bake sale to earn funds for a move to Colorado. While in Colorado, while hiking up Pikes Peak Highway through the changing Aspen trees, I was stopped by my vision for my future. A gut feeling that stopped me in my tracks, and I looked up to those snow-capped mountains and cried with the certainty of it all. I wanted my own business. Something authentically me. I wanted to cook. I loved doing cooking classes when we had our business, and clearly all my life I had a knack for baking. When I came back to Indiana I applied for the farmer’s market and started my gluten-free business (granted they turned me down twice, don’t accept NO’s, just realize that maybe the timing was off). My first job in a kitchen was at a pie company, where I made 100’s of pies. Pies just like pizzas, are my thing. I am an artist. Growing up everyone asked me if I was going to be an artist. Now food is my art and pies are one of my favorite ways to express my creativity. Last week I was pumped to make pies for the boys at the fraternity my husband works for. Racking my brain for flavors. Taking my time to braid the edges. Every ounce of my creativity and energy going in to those pies. I was on a high, yet wiped by the end of it all! So as I pull back, my life has led me to today. To this vision of a gluten-free pie and pizza company.
Continue reading “Goal Clarity”
I have been thinking about how to write a post (or anything rather) about our trip. How do I write about something so vast and grand (nearly 5000 miles, 9 states, and 10 National Parks)? An awe-inspiring experience beyond words? How do I capture this with mere words? How can I convey the beauty of what I saw and felt? How do I condense it down and not write pages? How? And then there is this part of me that is a little selfish. I love sharing photos. I also get a lots of thoughts that come to me, beautiful words I feel compelled, and know I need to share. But sometimes I like to keep things to myself. Personal, private moments. On our trip there were so many perfect little moments, that I want to keep close to my heart. Never have I been so thankful for having a photographic memory, I can replay them over and over in my mind. And so, yes, some of me feels selfish.
But there is a lot I (we) learned on our trip. Lots on travel. Camping. Packing. Eating. Hiking. Parks. And general experience.
I come from a family of travelers. My grandparents got an RV when they retired and drove around the country, have been on countless cruises (we took an Alaskan one to renew their vows for their 50th), and have been to a multitude of countries. I have a cousin living via RV as well, who returned from months of New Zealand travel earlier this year. Growing up my fondest memories with my big, crazy extended family, were trips. Renting out huge houses and piling in all my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Lots of fun and laughter. Play. Drunkeness. Bonding. Sun. Family dinners and eating out. From the Ozarks to Florida to Alaska. I looked forward to trips. Plus my immediate family loved a trip. I have not been on a trip in years, though, since our business had to file bankruptcy. I have been rebuilding my life the past five years.
Back to the present. I don’t know how it really came about, but pretty much from the infancy of our relationship, Zach (my husband) and I talked about a trip to Yellowstone. Excitement and influence spread our trip across multiple states. And the resolution to get a parks pass, had us dreaming of a two week Grand Adventure. Continue reading “The Grand Adventure: Goal Getting and Travel”
It is that time of year again.
The new year time. A time for goal setting. The idea is wonderful but most don’t last. So what is the key?
I am in love with the new. I am a change seeker. Mornings are my favorite time of day. Monday’s are my favorite day of the week. And the new year is the embodiment of how these things make me feel. Like I am on the cusp of some new, exciting adventure. It is filled with potential and possibility.How do we tap into this?
I have been thinking about this Jason Silva video about sunsets lately (I actually forced my cousin to watch it after he made fun of me for my hippy perspective). Because I think this sunset/sunrise thing is a good metaphor for why we look forward to the new year. Because it is:
“A moment in which we can witness the transformation. In ordinary waking states we cannot perceive the passing of the moment. It forces us to be more present. The moment becomes impregnated with a sense of importance With a sense of meaningfulness. It frames the moment and induces a transformative experience.” Jason Silva
I think this is why I have spent a lot of time longingly watching and chasing sunsets and sunrises this year. Here is my favorite one.
As midnight hits and we go from 2015 to 2016 we can future trip into the us we want to be in this transformative moment.
How do we get this moment to last though? How do we let it play out throughout the day, rather than just at sunrise and set? How do we take the journey to transformation?
Let us begin by goal setting.
What do you want in your life?
Seems like a simple little question right? But how many of us really know what we want? How many do the inside work? What are your desires? What sets your soul on fire? What makes you excited? What gets your heart racing? This is more than resolution/New Year work, this is lifelong legacy work. It is a practice like yoga or kettlebells or anything we wish to be good at.
I am a Danielle LaPorte fan. I also go back to some igolu work I did with my cousin Jacki. We talked often about living above the line, rather than below the line conditioned reactions. Make a circle. Inside the circle put what you want. On the outside, put what you don’t. What I loved when I talked with my group was the Danielle LaPorte approach: how do you want to feel? Create goals from this perspective. Okay so inside my circle I have that I want to be joyful. Well what brings me joy? Create and live from this answer. Continue reading “Goals with Soul: Setting Goals for the New Year”
Here’s the honest truth….sometimes the most difficult and most important thing that you will ever have to do is to just show up.
When my alarm went off at 4:45 this morning and then again at 5, my brain buzzed with reasons to stay in my comfy bed. 1. It’s comfy 2. It’s warm 3. SLEEP! I want to sleep longer 4. It’s raining 5. I’m sore, I don’t want to go to yoga. 6. It’s 5 am! 7. My bed, my bed is so freaky comfy. I think you see where I am going. The list is ongoing. I do this same song and dance with other areas of my life. Laundry. Kettlebells. Reading. Writing. My own work. Why haven’t I written a cookbook yet? Hikes. Plans with friends. The market. Sometimes getting myself there is the biggest battle. Because after yoga, after kettlebells, once my apartment is clean, once I’ve spent time with my friends, I FEEL/AM better.
I am a hider. Growing up I was super shy. I was terrified. I was a perfectionist. I was a people pleaser. I tried. I tried so hard. And I was completely boring/bored. I wasn’t living authentically. I wasn’t living creatively. I was not making any real connections because I was trying to make people like me, even though I was terrified to talk to them.
And then I entered my 20’s and something changed. I began reading a lot. I started following more inspirational leaders. I got to know myself. Because how can you live authentically if you don’t even know who the fuck you are? I found out (really I rediscovered and unearthed) what I was really passionate about. What gets me excited? What brings me bliss? What makes me feel most alive? I am so passionate about baking, writing, hiking, and people. Continue reading “The Importance of Showing Up”