Be Still & Finding Joy

fb90de51187517cbf6db207d8249751d-1Be Still.

This message keeps popping up in my life. And when something shows up more than once, pay attention.

The first time my mother called me. “What are you doing?” Oh you know, getting wedding band tattoos. And she says, “Your dad wants to see D’wan to get a tattoo.” Firstly, this shocked me a bit, I thought my Dad would never get a tattoo. Secondly, I was curious as to what he wanted…… still.

Next instance, I was sitting in worship at church. I have been prone on occasion lately to be super emotional due to all the changes and uncertainty going on in my life and just scatteredness. As I sat there the message came so clearly: BE STILL. Very much along the lines of this photo. Be still and know I am God. When we finally stop. When are still and open enough, we will receive guidance and direction.

Thursday I had this crabby, sadness going on. Hike. I need to hike. It is missing from my life. I have built in habits that help me in life. Hiking and baking are my big two. When I am facing uncertainty. When I need clarity. When I need a moment to get back to myself and God and my path, I hit a trail. Or I get in the kitchen and bake. I let my creativity flow. I let go. I let go of all the thoughts (especially negative self-talk) and bullshit. It brings me back to peace. To calm. They are my outlets. They remind me that it is all good. Life is good. I am good. I am blessed. And it fills me with those positive vibes that everyone expects from me. Being in the woods is humbling. It cuts out the bullshit of everyday life. Maybe this is why I love traveling and mountains too. In their perfect creation and grandeur and beauty, they morph me and my problems. How small I am, how unimportant the things worrying me are. I can see resolution rather than focusing on what doesn’t seem to be going ‘right’. It allows me to step back and see the bigger picture. What is going oh-so-right in my life. All those beauty and gifts. Continue reading “Be Still & Finding Joy”

Quit Playing Small


So I love this quote.

Last month, my rad cousin Jacki invited me to do some game changing Igolu sessions. It was completely empowering. Not only did it connect me better to myself, goals and dreams, but it tied me to a group of really strong, game-changing, goal-getting women.

Our first call I was so nervous.

My reactive thoughts were telling me, “who are you to be on this call? A little baker from Indiana.” I listened to the other powerhouse women introduce themselves, and I thought, “holy shit.” And then Jacki said, “Just know you are meant to be here.”

My reactive below the line living voice was instantly shut down. And I thought of this quote. Which coincidentally, one of the other members posted in our group later that week. Something the Universe intended for me to hear and remember.

I have this conditioned habit of playing it small. Sometimes I tell myself I am trying to be humble, but that is bullshit frankly. I am doing what the quote above says.

And as I dove further into the sessions this popped up. This play it small. This inability to to not receive. Like a light dimming switch. But awareness is the key, catching myself. And being aware that I do this.

I am the first one to help, to volunteer, to want to cheer others up, to give compliments. I want to build others up, but there is a barrier when others do the same. I shut down. I act coy. I can’t maintain eye contact. It is weird. It is weird because I truly think I am awesome. Read my about section. That is truly how I feel. I am statements I rock. I am strong. And beautiful. And creative. And smart. And talented. And positive. And radiant. The list is on-going. There is a disconnect when someone else says it though. Where is that coming from? And so I teach myself to shift. Take the compliment Brittany. Take the upgrade. Remember. Remember this quote. Give it out and take it. You are enough. Boom, that sentence is critical.  Continue reading “Quit Playing Small”